Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Thought for a Thursday



This was my original thought, though not very original at the moment (I'll have you know I was ahead of the trend on owning this poster and have it in my downstairs loo.) It's appropriate after a week of awful commuting experiences and poonami incidents from both PD and WH. The WH very thoughtfully rolled in fox poo then rolled all over my *gasp* cream sofa this morning whilst I was bathing PD and putting her in her third outfit of the day. And all before 8am. This evening I fell downstairs whilst trying to contain said WH (who is wonderful sometimes, honestly,) who was acting like a nutter because someone in the South of England was letting off fireworks, and thought this to be more appropriate:


Is it the weekend yet?

photos: Keep Calm Panic

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Thought for a Thursday



Once you realise we are all mad, life starts to make sense.

'Nuff said!

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Pumpkin Party

Violet Posy is having a Halloween 'do'! I thought it only fair that I do the same....


PD with her trick-or-treat stash last year. And WH in witchy glory!

The Pocket Dictator is having a Halloween Party tomorrow, a whimsical notion caused by the arrival of some lovely new cake cutters (the former cake cutters having been commandeered by said first born child. And destroyed.) I concluded that she, being only 17 months, was still too little for Trick or Treating, so came up with the alternative: "Pumpkin Party". I spent hours cutting out Pumpkin invitations using my new cutter (it's very multipurpose, don't you know?) and trying to decide who to invite, and what to eat, and how long should it last, until I scribbled my way through an entire legal pad making endless lists and writing random thoughts followed by several question marks. I think I might have forgotten along the way that the party will ultimately be attended by a handful of under-twos, who really don't care that everything is themed, since they won't fully get the point of the Party anyway. Although they will totally understand cake.

The 'buying of things I need' stopped this morning when I bought some orange tissue paper. The preparation will begin in earnest tonight when Brother Neal has been drafted in to carve a Pumpkin and make soup with the leftovers (I shall dispatch him to a TheMadHouse for tips) and then he has the unenviable task of 'carving' eight oranges in similar fashion, so that I can fill them with jelly. I will be in Martha Stewart mode decorating the sitting room with inflatable Pumpkins and various other tacky bits I purchased from Poundland for the occasion.  DH is in charge of making the Pass-the-Pumpkin, since he can do that whilst watching Channel 4 news after a long day in the office. Then tomorrow whilst the PD has her nap, I shall instead be preparing:

  • Pumpkin-shaped sandwiches
  • Pumpkin sausage-head
  • The aforementioned Pumpkin jellies
  • Pumpkin juice (carrot, orange and apple served in a punch bowl to give the illusion of Pumpkin)
  • Various snacks and nibbles that are small and round (I ran out of inspiration at this point)
Not to mention preparing the kitchen for the craft-fest that will be 'Pumpkin Decorating'. I'm not mad enough (yet) to think that pumpkin carving is an appropriate activity for the under-twos, so have spent a considerable amount of time this week cutting out large pumpkin shapes from orange paper that can be decorated with cut-out pieces of foam, glitter and pom-poms. But I am mad enough to get the WH a costume to match PDs (I didn't get one, though it turns out I could). Indeed most of the kids will be dressed in a festive ensemble: this pleases me immensely as it was not a request on the invitation but goes to prove that the other mums are just as mad excited as me! I'll let you know how it turns out if I'm still able to stand. I get the impression a few of the dad's are gutted to be missing it.

The best bit about my Halloween event though? That I won't be home this weekend to deal with trick-or-treaters!!

Monday, 26 October 2009

Wait a minute Mr Postman

    Night Train
(Commentary for a G.P.O. Film, July 1935)
   
      by W.H. Auden (1907 - 1973)
             

     

This is the Night Mail crossing the border,
Bringing the cheque and the postal order,

Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
The shop at the corner and the girl next door.

Pulling up Beattock, a steady climb:
The gradient's against her, but she's on time.

Past cotton-grass and moorland boulder
Shovelling white steam over her shoulder,

Snorting noisily as she passes
Silent miles of wind-bent grasses.

Birds turn their heads as she approaches,
Stare from the bushes at her blank-faced coaches.

Sheep-dogs cannot turn her course;
They slumber on with paws across.

In the farm she passes no one wakes,
But a jug in the bedroom gently shakes.


II

Dawn freshens. Her climb is done.
Down towards Glasgow she descends
Towards the steam tugs yelping down the glade of cranes,
Towards the fields of apparatus, the furnaces
Set on the dark plain like gigantic chessmen.
All Scotland waits for her:
In the dark glens, beside the pale-green sea lochs
Men long for news.


III

Letters of thanks, letters from banks,
Letters of joy from the girl and the boy,
Receipted bills and invitations
To inspect new stock or visit relations,
And applications for situations
And timid lovers' declarations
And gossip, gossip from all the nations,
News circumstantial, news financial,
Letters with holiday snaps to enlarge in,
Letters with faces scrawled in the margin,
Letters from uncles, cousins, and aunts,
Letters to Scotland from the South of France,
Letters of condolence to Highlands and Lowlands
Notes from overseas to Hebrides
Written on paper of every hue,
The pink, the violet, the white and the blue,
The chatty, the catty, the boring, adoring,
The cold and official and the heart's outpouring,
Clever, stupid, short and long,
The typed and the printed and the spelt all wrong.

IV

Thousands are still asleep
Dreaming of terrifying monsters,
Or of friendly tea beside the band at Cranston's or Crawford's:
Asleep in working Glasgow, asleep in well-set Edinburgh,
Asleep in granite Aberdeen,
They continue their dreams,
And shall wake soon and long for letters,
And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart,
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?

Ah the heady days of the Steam Age when the post arrived before you got out of bed and you knew your postie's name, address and family circumstance. When I was at boarding school, I lived for letters. I'd happily take other's cast-offs. Not that my parents didn't write, but you felt so out of touch with the actual world when you were stuck in a dark corner of Yorkshire and there had been an earthquake in Cairo and your housemaster wasn't in so you couldn't ask to use his phone (not thinking of course that an earthquake would mean that the phone lines were down.) Now we have mobile phones so the Mothership (or Father for that matter) can text from darkest Africa, usually much more reliable than the local phone or indeed power suppliers. And we have email and the interweb, so you don't have to wait to hear about babies being born or job applications, you can shop at 11 o'clock at night and you can read the news without having to leave the house to buy a paper. But we still cannot manage without the Royal Mail, though sadly most of our mail is bill-related except for high days and holidays. And eBay purchases of course.


The strikes have really muddled me, not least because there is now a backlog of mail that may take a while to be 'unlogged'. I don't know how I'll cope emotionally if they are unable to reach an agreement, as I still feel quite unnerved when I don't get any mail; have I been forgotten? My teenage insecurities are still evidently right at the surface.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Thought for a Thursday


It's been a long week.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Home shopping with benefits.


Last year I hosted a Tupperware party, which went down a storm , if only for all the wrong reasons. The Tupperware lady was, to be blunt, a complete nutter and I found myself kicking her out at 11.30pm because she just didn't want to leave. That said the Tupperware shape-sorter (whose design doesn't appear to have changed since I had one as a child) I bought for the Pocket Dictator for Christmas has finally turned out to be Toy-of-the-Week, so there were benefits. As a concept, I like the idea of this sort of event, primarily because I like having people come to my house rather than having to go out. I camouflage what is blatantly laziness as a need to nurture and make people feel welcome. I also like the benefits of being able to look at things before you buy them, without having to endure hideous customer service in store from a tweenager you wouldn't let out of the house never mind give a job to.

This year I heard whispers on the NCT circuit of Pampered Chef parties and knew it would be my kind of thing (did I mention I also like being able to shop from my sofa?). Quite by chance I met a mother who 'did' such parties, who assured me that Pampered Chef was the new Tupperware. In fact I'd say it's the new Lakeland-Tupperware hybrid, but that's by-the-by. So last night, after issuing a ridiculous number of invitations to women I barely know from the playgroups, and dispatching DH to have curry with the husband of a party attendee, I immersed myself in cookware porn with a group of like-minded women.

What is good about the new breed of home-based parties, is the way that products are demonstrated with actual usage rather than a "this-is-our-grater-touch-it-isn't-it-super?" show and tell. Our lovely host Jennie made us Waffleberry pudding in a fabulous stoneware dish whilst we chatted and drank wine and half-paid attention. I thoroughly recommend he recipe, whether or not you use the PC products. It was so easy to make and tasted so heavenly I had the rest for breakfast this morning. We also got to test little Tartlets made in a mini-muffin pan. Which gave me numerous ideas for what you could make in teeny tiny pastry cases: no doubt my ideas will appear here at some point. Probably not until the evil oven has been replaced. It managed not to kill any of the food last night (mainly due to overzealous checking on my part) but I'm not taking any chances.

All of which is to say that, although it seems incredibly 1970's, a homeware party in your home is worth trying. There aren't any crowds, any surly shop-attendants, any screaming children (if held after bedtime of course.) You can have them at a time that suits you. And you get yummy food made for you. Food and shopping without leaving the house. What could be better?

Friday, 16 October 2009

Friday Night is Hedgehog Night

The Supportive Fellow Mum (SFM) had a birthday this week. She got flowers and chocolates and an evening out sans enfants, which is not to be sniffed at when you have 17-month-old twins. I scored a PD- free morning later in the week and the Giant Chocolate Buttons I picked up in Waitrose led me down a Retro path to birthday-cakes-past. I figured it might be worth getting some practice in, with only 5 months until PD has her next birthday, and created this:



SFM came over in the week to blow out the candles, though I wasn't entirely sure where to put them.

For One Super Hedgehog Cake


Ingredients:
200g cooking chocolate, melted
200g/8oz butter, softened
200g/8oz caster sugar
3 medium eggs
200g/8oz self raising flour
1 generous tsp baking powder  
1 tub Betty Crocker Chocolate Frosting
1 large packet Giant Chocolate Buttons
1 packet white buttons



1. Preheat the oven to 180C, 350F or gas mark 4. Lightly grease a 2.4 litre/4 pint heatproof pudding basin/bowl. 
2. Throw butter and sugar in Magimix (other food processors are available) until smooth then add eggs, one at a time*. Follow with flour and baking powder, then melted chocolate.
4. Place the cake mixture into the heatproof pudding bowl. Level the mixture then push a slight dip into the centre. Bake in the middle of the oven for about 55 minutes or until springy to the touch and a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.
5. Allow to cool in the bowl for 5 minutes before turning out onto wire racks to cool completely.

6. Once cool, place on plate (slice knobbly bit from top so it sits flat) with flat side down.
7. Slightly trim left and right hand side to create a more oval shape, and use leftovers to make triangular nose which you stick to body with frosting (I used two triangles sandwiched together with frosting). Sculpt from oval sides towards triangle to crea te face.




8. Smear entire thing in frosting. Don't worry about what it looks like, just smother the beast!
9. Mark out a loose face around the triangle with a fork (a sort of inverted capital B) and score with fork to create face.

 10. Break chocolate buttons in half and arrange in rows across the back starting at the edge of the face. Wedge them into the frosting and angle slightly backwards so as not to injure anyone!!

11. Use one white button for the nose and two for the eyes.



If you are cutting in front of small children, I suggest starting at the back-end, as it were. Apparently seeing the face cut upsets them. Oh, and you should have quite a few buttons left over....what should be done with them? ;-)